Me according to life

What makes us tick?

Is it the knowledge of your impending payday? Or is it the knowledge that you're going home to someone special? There might be plenty of reasons as to what drives us as a carbon based life-form, but it's the third of my opening questions that I want to elaborate on by asking another question. Why is that us as humans place so much of ourselves into the hands of someone else?

I've seen people suffer from mental breakdown's after breaking up with someone that were dating for a number of months. Why?
I've seen people contemplate suicide after breaking up with people they dated for a couple of years. Why?
What/who were you before meeting this supposed "perfect" partner? Have we as humans lost our sense of individuality to such an extent that we have to depend on others like a crutch?

Before (whoever happens to be reading this) jumps down my throat with a packet of C4 strapped to themselves, hear me out.
Everyone these days is looking for someone to love and to receive love from. Correct? If not everyone then it's close to it being so. Those that have found this partner to pamper their obviously rapidly degenerating self-esteem claim to be happy. But are they really?
They now have someone to think about for the whole day, someone to text and do all the arbitary things that people in love do. Does that necessarily make them happy?

One thing I've managed to learn about life in the relatively short time that I've been allowed to be here is that the person next to you does not hold the key to your happiness. It is within us all. Some may say that money makes them happy, fine. Show me a person who isn't happy when they've got a bit of cash in the bank. But personal fulfillment has and always will be the number one route to true happiness. Relationship's fade and whither away and all the other person turns out to be (most times) is an extremely sour taste on the tongue.
Yet there are so many things out there that we could be concentrating on other than "being in love." One of those, LIFE! We spend so much of our time worrying about all sorts of other things that we tend to forget to live it.

We really need to start looking after ourselves. Making sure that the current situation we are in is the one that will make us the happiest in the now and in the long run. Let love come find you and make sure that when it does come knocking on your door, you're the happiest you could possibly be.

I can already see what (whoever happens to be reading this) is thinking. I'm a cold, detached and heartless human being. That's fine with me. I'll be happier for longer because I'll find what the universe wants me to have a lot sooner than anyone else will, hopefully (Crosses fingers).
Until that time, I'll live my life to the sound of a ticking clock.

Mind games.

The only kind of "game" that I really suck at! I don't/can't do all of that crap. I've just never seen the point, honestly.

I know that it's managed to become part and parcel of today's living. Especially in that little failed social experiment we all know (and I hate) as flirting. I hate it because I suck at it. Simple. I really just don't understand it.
What's the point of making acute (not cute) signals that I might or might not understand?
I'm talking to a member of the opposite sex that I have never met before... What are my intentions?

I think I've finally realised what my problem is in that regard. I'm too damn honest!
If there's a spade laying on the floor, I will tell you that there's a spade on the floor. I really don't have the energy to use in trying to throw some sugar on the spade and calling it a shovel.

When I meet someone, I really don't want to have to make myself more attractive to them.

This is me. You have met me. Do you like me? If answer = yes, cool. If answer = no, cool. I'm really not phased.

Honesty is one of those virtues that have been lost on mankind for many a year. What's so difficult about it? A lot of people lie to get ahead. Others lie because they have to. Whatever happened to just telling people the truth about anything? And if you think it might offend them, tell them as much. Don't just go around telling everybody their business. It's rude.

But. Why is that when it comes to dating or anything related to the said subject, no one seems to be able to tell the whole truth? I say "whole truth"
because equivocation has become a big part in the dating world as of late.

She asks, "So, what do you do for a living?"
He answers, "Oh, I'm just a Customer Relations Assistant at a well known local establishment."
HE'S A FUCKING BARMAN! HE WANTS TO GET LAID! Don't be too surprised when he's not in the same bed he slept in, mainly the female
who was interested in the big words he used to describe he's imaginary important position's bed. But that's another rant for another day. I really don't have the energy to get into that right now. It drains me just thinking about it.

Sometimes I wish life was like the 1700's where dating didn't exist. Where people met and fell in love. Where life was a little slower and the lives we led were even slower.

I'M A HOPELESS ROMANTIC!

There... I said it!
I'm an aboslute softy. You never would've guessed it, would you?

Well, I am. I buy roses, send late night and early morning texts... All that other soppy stuff that I wouldn't want to list on such a public domain. But I am. It's who I am.
I write poems... Yes, poems. Why? To express how I feel. I can't tell most people how I feel about them, so I write it down instead. It's always been my failsafe. "Can't talk, read this."
Funnily enough, I know a lot of other guys that get as tongue tied as I when confronted with a member of the opposite sex. And, unsurprisingly I might add, they are all like me, writers.

Which leads me to think, is romance really dead? Or has society just scared the romantics into hiding?

I'm not even going to bother lying, I don't know what women want these days. I don't even attempt to pick them up when I go out. I've kinda just left it in the Big Guy's hands. "If it's going to happen, it's going to happen." Of course there's the envitable, "Wake up the next morning with your mates telling you that you spaded the entire pub last night" but I learn to take those with a pinch of salt.

"If I don't remember it, it didn't happen!"

It actually sounds really stupid coming from a guy that acts all macho in front of his mates when he sees an attractive women walk past, but inside I'm thinking, "I'd like to get to know her better. I wonder what her interests are." Lame, I know, but that's just how some things work in this world.

When people say romance is dead, what do they actually mean? Is the virtue of romance no longer there or has our idea of romance in this day and age altered to such a point that we don't even know what the original concept was?

"What are you willing to do for the one you "love"?

Whatever your answer to that is, think about it this way. Whatever it is that you said you are willing to do, would you do it with a gun to your head? I'm guessing most of the answers would be "yes"... But then again think about it this way, would you do it first thing in the morning before you've even brushed your teeth? Ok, maybe first thing after brushing your teeth. :P
Do you really deserve to call yourself someone else's significant other if you aren't willing to do everything for them.

Quick question...

How many men out there hold a door open for a woman to pass? Pull the seat out for their partners when out for dinner? Open car doors so their partners can enter?
See? Lost. NOT dead!

Society is too busy teaching our youth random crap. I remember being taught manners.

I was out this weekend having a rad time with friends I haven't seen in ages. Everything was going very well, until... (yes, the inevitable "until") someone chirped someone else something completely inappropriate, completely ruining the party for most, me included.

I shan't divulge the details of the chirp, but the chirp does lead me to my question... Why is it that people can't just be satisfied with what they have? Why do we as humans have the urge to mess things up for other people even though we are in own respective happy places.

Why the hell can't we just fight the urge to utter that lie to someone else, while we know what the consequences are going to be, and then turn right around to the person we lied about and offer them a shoulder to cry on when things bomb out with the person we lied to. Still with me? Good...

I live in a glass house so I'm not going to be throwing any stones, but I must say that it's one of the most annoying things in mankind today. I try to not talk about anyone behind their back to anybody. ANYBODY!

I guess I'm just tired of wondering what people are saying about me. I know that they talk, I try to not let it worry me but I just can't. For someone who supposedly doesn't give a damn about society, I sure make it sound as if all I want is their approval... Bleh!



I'm tired of having to watch what I say to people just in case they run to someone else and completely botch what I said up. I'm tired of having to restrain feelings that I want to let loose. I'm tired of the weight placed on my shoulders by those around me. I'm tired of not wanting to be happy because everything/everyone I see out there all seems to be as fake Jacob Zuma's teeth.

I'm tired.

I'm tired.

I was thinking the other day... What the hell does society want from me?

I can't help it that I don't want to play by everyone else's rules. Can I? Do this. Do that. Go here. Go there. Why is it that to truly be happy, one has to do what everyone else is doing just to get somewhere?
Why the hell can't I just go where I want to go, do what I want to do and still be considered a normal part of society?

Labels.

Wow I hate them! But they're everywhere we go these days. I'm not talking about the ones we see on tags on the inside of our clothing or sprayed to random bridges either. I'm talking about the ones that are given to us and others by what we do. I wonder what people call me behind my back.

I'm happy with the way I look. So why the hell do I have to change to get anywhere?

Comfortable.

That's a word I don't hear too often these days. Every second person I meet is caught up in some extreme gym regiment that they completely hate, but stick to it just because they want to look "good enough" for everyone else. Sometimes I wish I lived in a world where I made the rules. Where I set the parametres as to what is considered normal. Hell, I know I'm far from it (by society's standards anyways) and I don't intend on changing that anytime soon just because I want someone to notice me. I fear that everyone is too caught up in being the perfect human that they've forgotten about themselves.

I, on the other hand, am. I'm proud of that. If that means being alone for the rest of my life, I'm sure I'll be able to come terms with that eventually.

I will refuse to fit in. Not because I want to be an extremist to show faith in cause. No. But purely because I don't like what I in most of those around me. I don't want to chase this "thing" that everyone seems to be chasing. I think it's turning everyone into a complete tonsil. The swollen kind at that!

"I miss the days when clothes didn't match and girls had cooties."

A friend of mine said that and it hit home.
Growing up sucks.

Simplicity.

But still, I will sit and wait for the day that another simpleton simply saunters up in my direction and simply tells me, "You're simply normal."

Hello...?

Anybody there...?



Oh well, I guess it's just me then.

Wow... I never actually realised how big this place actually is!

... And all I thought I wanted was a space to call my own. A place where (hopefully) no one will judge me for all the nonsensical nonsense that I'll end up putting on here. (hehe... I said nonsensical nonsense.)

Oh... There you are Life. I've been looking everywhere for you. Yeah, bigger than I thought it would be.

Anyway Life, how are you? No no, I insist, you tell how your day has been. Really? That's interesting! And what did you say to that in return? Wow, harsh dude...

Well I've got to be going. I've got other things to do today. What? You want to screw me later? Life, guy! Ok, how's about dinner and a movie first... My idea of foreplay. Ok fine, we'll do things your way!